fell or sway motion

2004-05-25T00:11:00.001-04:00

profile

2004-05-25T00:11:00.000-04:00

glasses

2002-10-25T19:21:00.000-04:00

[10/24/2002 7:21:56 PM | Ryan Hale]
alright, i am home, safe, i suppose.

a big, annoying day at the record store. I now understand that people need to buy their madonna singles. whatever. i bought the live thursday e.p., and the new song is really good. like really good. I also got a bunch of free stuff from work, i got a gorillaz cd, a bunch of magazines. Not a bad day all in all.

New music is in the works. It occurs to me that i write these songs, never have words for them, and then eventually end up forgetting how they ever went. I need to focus on lyrics more. I want to work on a cd called "under the nose of the wolf". It wouldn't be a concept album or anything, but more an idea coming into the light over the course of a few songs. I don't know, i get mad because i think nothing i'm doing is worth anything, and all my music sounds the same, and all that. I keep trying to get things together. I think St. Louis is the answer, but i'm still not sure of how to phrase the question. I want to come back, but i don't think i can. I think mentally it is all to much. It is also too far from how things seemed when i lived there. We all remember Saturday nights on Gravois. It was rad, but it seems like a million years ago to me. More often than not, it seems like it never happened, like it was all part of something i never saw all of. I miss everyone so much, and i feel like eventually i will make my way back there, but i feel that whatever it is that i'm looking for is not going to just jump in front of me someday. unfortunately.

This is the audio:
Sunny Day Real Estate, Owen split, Linus of Hollywood, Bright eyes, Thursday, Phil Collins, Clinic, Casket Lottery, jurrasic 5, the Prom, Poison the well, Detatchment kit, shiner, desaparecidos, American football, Pedro the lion, among many others.

this is video:
Anything by Wes Anderson, Get Well Soon, Buffalo 66, anything P.T. Anderson (i cannot wait for Punch Drunk Love), Judy Berlin, Brotherhood of the Wolf, among many others.

this is lowdown:
okay, so i know for a long while all i talked about was dating shows, i have no idea what i was thinking. I watch one every now and then, but i just can't stand them anymore.

i hope to keep this page updated daily, at least, and mildly entertaining, so tell all your friends. goodnight.

2002-10-24T19:21:00.000-04:00

alright, i am home, safe, i suppose.

a big, annoying day at the record store. I now understand that people need to buy their madonna singles. whatever. i bought the live thursday e.p., and the new song is really good. like really good. I also got a bunch of free stuff from work, i got a gorillaz cd, a bunch of magazines. Not a bad day all in all.

New music is in the works. It occurs to me that i write these songs, never have words for them, and then eventually end up forgetting how they ever went. I need to focus on lyrics more. I want to work on a cd called "under the nose of the wolf". It wouldn't be a concept album or anything, but more an idea coming into the light over the course of a few songs. I don't know, i get mad because i think nothing i'm doing is worth anything, and all my music sounds the same, and all that. I keep trying to get things together. I think St. Louis is the answer, but i'm still not sure of how to phrase the question. I want to come back, but i don't think i can. I think mentally it is all to much. It is also too far from how things seemed when i lived there. We all remember Saturday nights on Gravois. It was rad, but it seems like a million years ago to me. More often than not, it seems like it never happened, like it was all part of something i never saw all of. I miss everyone so much, and i feel like eventually i will make my way back there, but i feel that whatever it is that i'm looking for is not going to just jump in front of me someday. unfortunately.

This is the audio:
Sunny Day Real Estate, Owen split, Linus of Hollywood, Bright eyes, Thursday, Phil Collins, Clinic, Casket Lottery, jurrasic 5, the Prom, Poison the well, Detatchment kit, shiner, desaparecidos, American football, Pedro the lion, among many others.

this is video:
Anything by Wes Anderson, Get Well Soon, Buffalo 66, anything P.T. Anderson (i cannot wait for Punch Drunk Love), Judy Berlin, Brotherhood of the Wolf, among many others.

this is lowdown:
okay, so i know for a long while all i talked about was dating shows, i have no idea what i was thinking. I watch one every now and then, but i just can't stand them anymore.

i hope to keep this page updated daily, at least, and mildly entertaining, so tell all your friends. goodnight.

2002-10-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

well, an early morning, and it is really cold here. We didn't even have a fall, it was 80 degrees one day, and 50 the next. anywhoo.
i have a big day ahead of me at the record store.

I went and saw the ring the other night, and i can say honestly that it is the scariest movie i have ever seen. After like twenty minutes i was ready to leave. I would recomend seeing it though.

Man i am tired.

2002-10-23T22:37:00.000-04:00

yeah, so dudes, what a way to be in the middle of the week. I have found a new love for hardcore music, i am slowly but surely getting into Poison the well. I think alot of it is really rad. whatever. It is freezing here now. yeah, i still work at the mall. yeah, i still write all these songs.

I think that i need a different view for a while, things have gotten really stale, but it might be me. whatever. I'll hope to keep in touch with people.

2002-10-03T18:25:00.000-04:00

yeah wow, a whole lot of nothing to be so unexcited about.

i have been putting ideas to tape lately, and i have at least 10 new songs, at least. Alot of them are what you would expect of me, but a few are kind of refreshing, so i will try to get copies to anyone that cares, (does anyone care?).

i just got done reading "The Rules Of Attraction" i read it in something like three days, and now i can't wait to see the movie.

We can all let out our sigh of relief, now that Dawson's creek has started again.

this is so stupid, i'm sorry, i will keep everyone posted of new music. If anyone reading this wants to hear a rough mix of a few of the new songs e-mail me at thevictorylap@hotmail.com, and i will send you a tape with a few songs. until the next event, later.

2002-07-24T15:36:00.000-04:00

wednesday, the 24th

dear me, i am sorry for the lapse in info. nothing that earth shattering has happened lately. I am still working on new material, and am "working" a lot. I really just play a lot of Grand theft auto, and watch movies.

Flaming Lips new record- own it.

Royal Tenenbaums 2 DVD set- own it.

i was thinking about the night i saw tenenbaums with some friends, and i remembered how bummed out i got afterwards. I was at a party, and all these things were just killing me, oh well, its in the past.

Recently while reading "seventeen" magazine, there was an article in the back that read "Am I emo?", that was basically a dress code for any emo youth, then suggested pick up lines, and websites to look at. It only got worse from there. There was a rundown of popular emo bands including Jimmy Eat world, and Dashboard, but then to my absolute horror i turned the page to see a deseparacedos interview, a thursday interview, and a O.L.D. interview. I was so ashamed, but at least i had on a tight black shirt, faded jeans, thick rimmed glasses, and slightly toussled hair.

2002-05-20T12:37:00.000-04:00

I got some great gifts from an even greater friend, i got the "Friction" 2 disc set, and the new "Pop.Unknown" album. Really great stuff.

I am working on new material for the next Ryan Hale album. And i am writing some new stuff for my side project "The Victory Lap", which should tentatively be titled "motion.opportunity.forward." and should be out in Late summer, or early fall.

Thanks alot to everyone who listens, and all that.

oh and sorry about the really, really loaded accoustic version of "Melt With You" on Sunday.

2002-05-20T12:33:00.000-04:00

Monday, the something.

So, it has been a while since i left a coherent message, so let me see how this goes.

I was officially branded "lame" on my 21st due to the fact that i didn't want to go to the "titty bar". I'm sorry dudes, its just not my bag.
I also received hell for the bud light. To be honest i don't even know what i was thinking.

2002-05-11T23:20:00.000-04:00

well Saturday, may 11th.

the day after my twenty first birthday. I guess i am happy, or maybe i'm relieved. either way.

i can feel you settling in my lungs, next to where you stayed last time. If i promised myself i wouldn't let myself care, you'd be there to prove me wrong. don't worry, the happy times are secret smiles. if never you wake up, i can dream you back here.

sorry i sound like this, i guess its St. Louis' fault. I always get sad when i'm here.

later.

2002-05-07T18:45:00.000-04:00

Tuesday...

well, i am back in Cincy after a long weekend of driving to and from MO. a number of things happened that deserve attention, but here are a few.

1. At the benefit show during the last song by a band called krafted in korea, they announced the last song was a fight song, at which point a guy probably 6' 2" or so, and a girl about 5' 5" started "moshing". They just hopped around for a few minutes until the guy shoulder checked her and sent her spinning to the floor. Pretty hilarious.
2. After that an elephant was seen flying over the railing of a local party.
3. I was spit on by the host of said party.
4. My voice cracked during the first song of the set, and i hit a really foul note towards the end of it. Other than that my set was mediocre at best, while every other band on the bill was amazing.
5. "The Reactions". If you go see one band in St. Louis make sure you see this band. They are amazing, absolutely amazing.
6. Before and after i played i paced around the place wondering how much i wanted to be playing any music at all. If any of the stuff i am plaing is in any way legitimate. probably just being self critical.

i guess that i about all. Thanks to anyone who did show up. keep rockin'.

2002-05-01T18:08:00.000-04:00

Wednesday May 1st.

wow, only nine days until i'm 21. Kinda wacky, i never thought that i would make it this long. How exciting.

I was very sick yesterday, i had to come home from work early, but for some reason i felt okay when i woke up this morning.

I for some reason can not think of one interesting thing to talk about, i'm sorry.

2002-04-29T16:50:00.000-04:00

monday

i can feel myself starting to get sick. Just as the benefit show is coming up too. Oh well, hopefully i will feel better after some good rest.

I will be making a rare St. Louis appearance two weekends in a row. I can barely wait to see everyone.

If any of my songs sound bad at the show its because some of them are not done yet, but for some reason that doesn't stop me from playing them. I promise i will play some songs that people know though.

have a fun week.

2002-04-22T18:19:00.000-04:00

i guess a monday.

if never ever comes i'll be here.

if entries are hard to understand, i apoligize, i guess i'm going through some wierd times. I don't want to lose anyone along the way.
So i will be in St. Louis soon, visiting people, playing music, enjoying company. I am genuenly excited.

listen to "No Lies, Just Love" by Bright Eyes.

I'm sorry, nothing else is going on in my life.

2002-04-20T14:48:00.000-04:00

sat.

i don't care if i die here without you anymore. All excuses accepted. Books i've read with your name on the inside flap. If i can't make you care i'll jump off a bridge downtown. Fifty more years of this? Movies that move me. Listen to yourself. Getting away can't be as hard as it seems. I miss everyone so much. The weekend already. NO one will be there. I want more than anyhting else for you to care, wherever you are. Oh my god, just walk away.

don't worry about me

2002-04-18T16:40:00.000-04:00

why, how exciting, a thursday.

Yeah, so i started my job this week, making sure everyone is getting the proper dose of Linkin Park, and Ashanti. Oh well, i still like it anyway. I had to be there at 7:00 AM two separate days this week, ridiculous, huh?

When i was working yesterday a girl came in who was so beautiful i thought i was going to vomit. She was one of the most gorgeous women i've ever seen close up, just thinking about her makes my heart a-flutter.

We got the new Promise Ring at my job today, whatever.

in my car stereo: Desaperacidos- Read Music/Speak Spanish
in my home:
1. Bright Eyes- letting off the happiness
2. Bright Eyes- a mix disc.
3. i think its empty, actually.

Upon reading something at the A P.B.O.S. page, i rented "Annie Hall", and altough not my usual brand of comedy, i did enjoy it, thank you Dr. Competition.

RENT THE FOLLOWING MOVIE: "Wet Hot American Summer". Classic humor only "the state" could give you.

I will make my way back to you soon St. Louis.

2002-04-08T14:13:00.000-04:00

okay, a Monday.

I have had a total music revalation, i am going to start doing things way different. My songs are going to start having emotion, not just me whining about some girl. I am working on a new project, all new songs, a new singing voice, the works. It should be really exciting. I'm jazzed already. I have three brand new songs, that don't sound anything like my old stuff, better lyrics, more feeling, i'm sorry, its just really refreshing. Alas, I will keep people aware of new details, and I hope to have an EP together by the summer. Any one reading this (does anyone read this?) that wants more info can contact me through the Punk Page, and thanks for listening.

2002-04-04T15:41:00.000-05:00

well, thursday.

I am working in a mall downtown now. I start next Thursday, so i guess my days won't be filled with dating show repeats, and junk food. The one problem is its day shift. I have to be there at seven in the morning sometimes. I haven't been anywhere that early since high school.

New songs in the works.

Went and saw Panic Room, a really cool movie.

On the sixth Seinfeld tape, as of today.

Will still hopefully be playing benefit shows in May. New songs will be making an appearance.

of all the things to talk about.

2002-03-26T14:15:00.000-05:00

so, a tuesday...i think

i got a job, finally. So I guess i might not be totally useless after all. I am working in a music store in the mall. I can't say which one though, or all my fans would show up and want autographs and so forth. yeah....

while talking to someone up here the other day about his band, he told me something that i've been thinking about. He told me that his band was, and I quote, "going to bring the mosh". just something to think about.

I bought the new phantom planet record, and its really, really good. I have not been able to pry it from my CD player.

The fifth Seinfeld tape is almost done, i have room for three more episodes, then its ont o the sixth.

the thing about the autographs was a joke, i hope everyone knew that.

man, i guess thats all, wait, one more thing. The girl at the end of SLC Punk, who the blue hair guy falls for, i saw her in something else, and its really bugging me, i can't remember what it was. If anyone reads this, go to the punk page and tell me. thanks

2002-03-18T15:07:00.000-05:00

yeah, a monday....

so i still haven't finished my book, i keep getting really distracted, and fooling around with other things.

I have started on my fifth Seinfeld tape, I have just over 24 full hours of Seinfeld, with no commercials. So i guess thats what i've done with my life in the last couple months.

Working on things related to music, am putting together a CD with a couple tracks from each album, and will then send that around.
It should be really happening.

Alligators in New York sewers.

are we ever gonna get there? will we wake up again? will we pretend it was never said?, i can't pretend i didn't see you, i'm sorry.

2002-03-11T13:27:00.000-05:00

a monday in the middle.

so, i went to the ballet, and it was very interesting, i enjoyed it. So i guess i can't be called an uncultured baffoon any longer...okay, i still can.

Wow, less than two months until i'm 21, i can't believe i made it this long.

I'm actually reading a classic book, and enjoying it. I'm reading "The Sun Also Rises" by Hemmingway.

Might be getting a job at a record store, keep your fingers crossed.

nothing else in the world to talk about.

six months?

2002-03-05T13:54:00.000-05:00

Tuesday, i filled out an application for a real job today, and its like fifty degrees here.

there really is nothing going on, i have nothing to write, so if you happened to come to this page, i'm sorry. Maybe it will get better as the week goes on.

2002-02-28T15:19:00.000-05:00

Thursday 28th, warming up

a really exciting day thus far, i woke up, and made breakfast, all by myself. Bacon, Eggs, and O.J. I ruined the bacon though and fed most of it to my dog, but it was exciting other than that. Than i went to the mall, watched Kids in the Hall, and picked my sister up from school. gnarly.

spent $113.47 at the grocery store yesterday.

I need a new book to read, i have read all mine.

would anyone watch the movie of your life? would anyone read the book?

2002-02-27T11:40:00.000-05:00

a wednesday, 19 degrees fahrenheit

i think im almost done, this is ridiculous. A really good episode of wonder years last night. and i feel sick with you, and with it.
these songs sound the same, but you look different. god, i miss you so much. I can't wait to say all the things ive thought, to get you off my chest, and get dressed, for tonight we dance. a mistake, i know it, a mistake. no hook no hook. don't keep reading, just leave and swear you never saw me. maybe things will get better this year, without me here, no one ever told me, no one ever told me no on ever told me. i can't think about this anymore.

2002-02-26T12:46:00.000-05:00

nighthawk, the "entertainers" were a classy touch, maybe i will go write a sad song about it.

the new lawrence arms is really good, and the ALK3/HWM split is fantastic.

The benefit show in may is as i understand still going on. The tentative date is May 19th, at Keener Plaza ( is that spelling right?). It will feature Dean Gray, Myself, Picture Book of Saints are supposed to play, and a handful of others.

Last night the goofy guy on 5th wheel got the really hot girl.

I have a meeting tomorrow at 10:00 AM, with the owner of a recording label up here, if anyone reads this, wish me luck.

I got my Steve-O videos in the mail, it is the most disgusting thing i have seen i a while.

anyway, i guess thats it.

2002-02-26T12:39:00.000-05:00

a monday, back in cincinatti, i woke up this morning and it was snowing like crazy.

before anything else i want to send well wishes to the remaining members of more like winter. Turns out Kyle, the lead singer has found in Jesus what he couldn't throught music, and i'm happy for him. I do however hope the remaining members go on to do some amazing things.

everyone needs to own DJ Assault, its a masterpiece, thank you mike.

2002-02-20T15:25:00.000-05:00

wednesday, a rainy afternoon. 54 degrees fahrenheit.

The trip to STL will be realized tomorrow AM. 5 1/2 hours in that car, unbelievable.

no motivation, nothing interesting to write about. Relatively worried about recording. fitter, happier.

listen to a cd that changes the way you feel, don't accept the things you are handed, make a choice to change, things are possible, we are all alive tonight on planet earth, and anything is possible.

2002-02-19T14:50:00.000-05:00

i got the coolest watch two days ago, i was looking for a spongebob watch but, couldn't find one anywhere, but the watch i got is totally bitchin'.

i taped "Some Kind Of Wonderful" this morning of of TNT. awesome movie.

in my car stereo: Mates of State- Our constant concern
at home:
1. Red House Painters- Blue Guitar, or something
2. Rock Music- a weezer tribute
3. Dashboard Confessional- swiss army romance

thats all, i will talk to everyone on Thursday.

2002-02-19T14:45:00.000-05:00

well, a tuesday.....

T- minus 2 days until i make a return trip to the STL, it should be an exciting weekend, i hope.

twenty eight episodes of seinfeld so far.

Recording on Saturday, and a proposed track list follows:
1. four chords for a girl who won't listen
2. 22 minutes and a happy ending
3. the rain vs. the wheels
4. the ever something hopeful
5. the ohio skyline
and 6 other unnamed songs. I might do a new version of an old song too, so, yeah.

I don't know how many days are left nighthawk, i had been miscounting the whole time anyway.

and thank you shawn for making me part of the party line on saturday, i think i talked to about 10 different people in a matter of minutes.

2002-02-15T14:32:00.000-05:00

Theres a reason somewhere, buried beneath the heap you threw on me. A tragedy brought this to me, the late nights, and the starched fights won't register. You love the sound of your voice, and the look of your print, and reminding you now won't help.

forget everything i ever said, forget everything i ever did, forget the way i said i guess, theres a reason im here now, and you're a part of it.

thethingsiwantedyoutohearareallrighthere, ihatethewaythissounds. dontexpecttohearfromme

im throwing my life down a flight of stairs

2002-02-15T14:27:00.000-05:00

Friday, i think

8 days, nighthawk!

still talking about things that aren't important with people that are, and the things i heard at two a.m. sound different now. The knife in my back has your name on it, im sure of it. the pleasantries you sputtered over the line and the false sentiments, all line up right.
i can't believe i wasted my time with impressions and sincerity. Forget the way you sounded tonight, and forget the things you felt.
i don't even want to see you now.

2002-02-14T15:49:00.000-05:00

i can't be the only one heart broken over the fact that "the royal tenenbaums" and "Momento" were completely overlooked for oscar nominations, what are they thinking?

only nine days nighthawk!!!!!

dawson's creek really choked me up last night, thats right, i said it, it choked me right up.

2002-02-13T13:14:00.000-05:00

so, a wednesday in the midwest

let the festivities begin!!!!! 10 days until sir nighthawk can drink legally, horray

additions to seinfeld tape two:
4. yada, yada
5. the ticket

It has been set in stone that i am going to be recording on February 23rd in the beautiful St. Louis, it will be a full length record.
no title so far, at first it was going to be "the concussion issue", than i thought about "never you mind", but niether of those really fit, so im still racking my brain, anyone with a suggestion should let me know.

in my car stereo: Superdrag-their second album, which for some reason i can't think of right now
at home:
1. Rocky Vottalotto
2. A mix disc from another friend
3. owls

and on a side note, is it just me or is everyone dying to know how temptation island two is going to end, if catherine doesn't leave her boyfriend i am going to be so pissed. Same for Nicole. The other night there was four straight hours of Wild Police Videos, oh man, i was in heaven. And in keeping with that, I've seen previews for this State troopers movie, who in the hell actually thought this is going to be a good movie, it looks terrible, maybe its just me.

Does anyone remember "Dead at 21"? it was that show where the kid was a government thing or something. Well the reson i ask is this, the last episode of the season was this huge dropoff, the guy chasing him took cyanide capsules, something happened to him, every character in the show was in some situation, and it was to be continued....and they never did, there was never a follow up to that episode. Oh man.

i want a second try, for my own july

well i'll stop ranting, i hope to see everyone while i'm back

2002-02-12T13:52:00.000-05:00

a fantastic tuesday, plans are being made to record the weekend of the 23rd of this month. It will be a full length record, and will have old and new songs, just guitar and vocals, it is being done at Radio Penny Studios.

have already completed one seinfeld tape
on tape two
1. peterman's biography
2. the desk
3. a show about nothing
i keep wondering if im ever going to get all of them, i don't think so, they also removed on e of them from the air, it was the one where susan licks the envelopes, and dies.

anyway i might see ya while im in town? who.... i don't know

2002-02-08T15:49:00.000-05:00

everybody but me is working for the weekend, im watching dating shows for the weekend. Its hard to come up with things to write when all you do is watch tv, and play guitar. maybe i should stop trying.

Tentative new song titles
1. 22 minutes and a happy ending
2. there is an always
3. the ever something hopeful
4. there is an always
5. the ohio skyline
6. a safer version

new seinfeld additions:
little jerry seinfeld, the comeback, and a few i can't remember

I am planing a return trip to the beautiful STL, to record soon, so maybe that will be my productive time.

....what if all of this is leading up to something, that one moment of clarity?...

2002-02-06T14:15:00.000-05:00

so, another afternoon in ohio.

In my car stereo: Pedro the Lion-Winners never quit. Everyone should have this record, the last two songs on the cd are amazing, a song called "Bad things to such good people", and the title track.

At home:
1. Mates of State- my solo project
2. Promise Ring- boys+girls
3. a mix disc from a friend

new seinfeld additions:
the fix up, the keys, the cough, abstinance. All very exciting.

Plans are now being made to record. HOLD YOUR BREATH.

2002-02-04T14:25:00.000-05:00

While watching MTV last week there was a news report on with Gideon Yago, making reference to "Saves the Day". He then went on to describe them as "emo", then explain to a bunch of 12 and 13 year sold TRL victims what emo is. With any luck the next KORN record will sound like the Promise Ring.

so far in my seinfeld collection:
1. Little Kicks
2.Desperado
3.the Fatigues
4.the Limo Ride
5.Hit and Run
6.Keith Hernandez
7.Bizzaro World
there are alot of other ones i can't remember.

One last thing i promise, last night in a dream i was at the beach on one of those big rock formations, and there was an old projector there, and i was watching a movie against on e of the rocks. I can't wait to find out if i count.

2002-02-04T14:21:00.000-05:00

hello, a beautiful monday afternoon, while brushing my teeth this morning, i looked out the window of my house to see snow falling in the distance, then like in some race, it was right in front of me, just coming down outside the window.

2002-02-01T12:58:00.000-05:00

yo, i believe it is about 12:50 PM, I've been up since 8:00 this morning, and was up late last night reading this new book i got. The book is L.I.E, by Hollander, really addictive reading. When i woke up comedy central was still showing infomercials, usually when i wake up its about 2 in the afternoon, so maybe this was a nice change of pace.
In my car stereo right now: Phylum Silica-various
in my home stereo: 1. Owen- Owen
2. Pinback- Blue Screen Life
3. Foo Fighters- bootleg from Germany

I neglected a fantastic film by mistake the other day in my list, the movie is bottle rocket by Wes Anderson, the same director of Rushmore, and The Royal Tennenbaums. Anyway, nothing much else of substance to speak of.

2002-01-30T16:19:00.000-05:00

favorite movies
1. Say Anything- that scene where he calls Diane Court, and he picks up the phone, i think its cool that he already has her phone number memorized, like he might of had the phone in his hand before ready to cal her, but ended up not.

2. American Beauty- An amazing film that just seems to get better every time i see it, i love the part at the end, where after its all said and done, it goes to the black and white footage, and the best parts of his life are right in front of him, and the way the little girl holding the sparkler looks in black and white.

3. Its always a toss up between Fight Club, and Night at the Roxbury. Night at the Roxbury is a classic, beautiful piece of cinema, that never ceases to amaze me. Fight Club is cool just because of the way it looks.

anyway, i guess thats my top three.

2002-01-30T13:19:00.000-05:00

last night outside i got worried that at any moment it was all going to go to white, like in the movies when theres a death scene or something, and the charachter goes to white. whatever it meant im not sure. A career in futility is the end of me. i still can't wait to see if i count

2002-01-30T13:16:00.000-05:00

i guess this is the first in a number